How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Randomize
