We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Come on in and take your pants off
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