Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
