I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
