Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
