I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
