Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
