I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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