The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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