i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
