Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
