just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
lets start a swedish sibling band together
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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