is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
