i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
