problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
