So gin and wine won't be happening again
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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