Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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