it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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