IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
