The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
