allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think a kid would responsible me up
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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