I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
