the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
