seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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