what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
