i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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