you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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