it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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