Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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