I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She told me I should be a condom model.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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