everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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