there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
