Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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