I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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