phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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