I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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