would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
