sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
