So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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