Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
