we have pet lesbian snakes
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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