at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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