How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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