I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
