I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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