Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
