i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
