everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
