do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
