i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
