I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
