so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
