He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
